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1. |
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Oh I wish I had a lockdown dog
She'd take me out of this fog that I'm feeling
I'd take her out for a walk in the garden
Feed her lardons, beg her pardons
Cos we can't go outside but I don't mind
Cos I love my lockdown dog
Roooow rooow
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2. |
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There's no cues in bargain booze
Cos people got too much too loose
You go in to buy some Smirnoff
A toup-ed man starts to cough
There's no cues in bargain booze
Cos people got too much to lose
When you turn around to leave
You find your self unable to breathe
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3. |
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80% - talking Coronavirus Job Retention Scheme Blues
I've been laid low by the furlough oh no
two and half grand aint's so grand
oh please I'm on my knees
80% - talking Coronavirus Job Retention Scheme Blues
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4. |
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5. |
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Christopher Robin was bullied through school
For his role in Winnie the Pooh
What kind of man does that to their own
Child? I'll tell you who
That man is a coward.
That man is a creep
That man is selfish
That man is a pig
Detest piglet
Detest piglet
He's clay that's never seen a kiln
That prick is A A Milne.
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6. |
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You don't know what it's like
You have no idea
You don't know what it's like
Can't hide my tears
I can't go outside
It'd be better if I died
Can't go outside
Just gonna hide
It's only teenage meltdown
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7. |
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Nude lipstick?
It's like a blanket when it's too hot
Nude lipstick?
It's like a blanket when it's too hot
I don't need the warmth
I just need to know it's there
Nude lipstick?
I don't want to be seen wearing make up
Nude lipstick?
I just need to know it's there
I just need to know it's there
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8. |
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Under (my) lying health issues
Reveals the truth that I'm fine
Under (my) lying health issues
I lied when I said I'd die
I haven't got corona
No Covid 19
I haven't got corona
No little suns in my blood stream
Woohoo
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9. |
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I'm scared of
Dok Master
Dok Master
Dok Master
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10. |
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No one sleeps quietly,
we've been lied to by the media
there's so much noise and thrashing around
I struggle to think of things much seedier
I want the truth
not vested interests
I want the truth
not vested interests
but he's had a child
and he survived
and we all love this country so much
I think I'm gonna cry
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11. |
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Dein baby ist falsch
Ihr seid schlimme nachbarn
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12. |
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When I taught I feared I'd be
Brian Glover taking the p.e
I'd commentate over them
And show my skill
They were only ten
I'll take a can of kestrel for a knave
Blot out my brain
When I taught often be
Hungover and down upon my knees
It was hard and I am soft
A can of kestrel took the edge off
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13. |
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Dang! Where's my tricycle?
I thought I left it on the street
Over by the kerb there
With a basket full of meat
Hey can you tell me
Tell me where it is
It's got three wheels
And a morrissey decal
That I need to get rid of
Cos' he's racist now
Dang! Where's my tricycle?
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14. |
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Once there was a man his name was Drake Maverick
He worked as a wrestler on the pro circuit
He originally had the name Rockstar Spud
He joined world wrestling and decided it was a dud
On April 15, 2020, Drake was released
From his WWE contract as part of the
Budget cuts stemming from the 2019–20
Coronavirus pandemic a deedle deedle deedle dee
Drave Maverick
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15. |
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Working From Home
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16. |
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I wear boots in the summer
Ain't no sandals for me
I wear boots in the summer
It's plain to see
Because I like to wear socks
And crush the skulls of my enemies
I wear boots in the summer
I've got pollen in my eyes
I wear boots in the summer
They're not weeping for those who died
I wear boots in the summer
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17. |
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He wears a shirt (shirt) under his jumper even at 8am
He wakes up (up) up from slumber starched collar cuffs are pressed
He looks so smart
And I need to make him mine
He looks so smart
I'm gonna wine and dine
Him
He wears a shirt (shirt) under his jumper even at 8am
He wears a shirt (shirt) under his jumper even at 8am
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18. |
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Destiny's Heiled is an inappropriate name for a taxi company
Because they haven't got permission
fFom beyonce's estate
Or asked the nazi party
You've gotta respect
Copyright law
You've gotta respect
Intellectual property
You've gotta compete
With uber and lyft
You've gotta come
Pick up me
Pick up me
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19. |
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Revalatory gory tory lavatory story furore
The conservative minister sat down and went to release his bowels
And out came his entrails viscerally spelling out the words
Dominic cummings visited barnard castle
And coughed on all the walls and licked every surface
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20. |
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Jupiter's moons are boring
Into each other until
Ganymede eats them all
Jupiter's Moon
J-Ju-Ju-Juper
Gathered all the others up
Ganymede ate 'em up
I said bye-o Io
Gotta go Callisto
You're a no hoper Europa
Ganymede ate 'em up
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21. |
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Peanuts taste better with traces of urine
I'm not taking the piss
In fact I'm giving it to you
I can't miss
Because urine luck
I've got lucky piss
Urine luck
I've got lucky piss
Giving it to you
For your peanuts
For your peanuts
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22. |
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Jetpacks and Tablespoons
I'm flying and melting steel
Rocketeers and Uri G
They know just how I feel
To Hold and Be Held in Return
To Hold and Be Held in Return
Don't bend my spine, Uri
Please I'll be fine, Truly
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23. |
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Creepy Stylish Grippin
I am burger flippin
I am Scotti Pippen
And you're Michael Jordan
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24. |
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He did an unironic freebird cover
And it was so fucking great
With just an acoustic guitar and kazoo
He knew just what to do
He played the shit of the solos
And the singing was really quite soulful
Our emotions were so low
And he raised
Them up to the sky
(What a guy)
Unironic freebird cover re de de
If I leave here tomorrow
Would this cover still be free?
Yes indeed
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25. |
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Oh yeah
The fantabagorical popping bandy
Beansle chocolate from Cadbury’s
Get it today
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released June 19, 2020
